MerleBlackbird

Honestly, I think I would have assumed "the kid" is crazy. I mean, clinically, there's something psychologically very wrong with him. But I wouldn't call him a freak... because that's ...

Just jumping right into it with no organization here-- So the prequal/prologue really got me. It was creepy, intriguing, short, and to the point. Really sets a hook in the ...

Heh heh heh ahhhaahahaahaha okay. So let me start by pointing out the irony of such eloquent feelings of off-put concerning hospitals detailed by someone planning to go into nursing. ...

You have some serious skills in article/reporter style writing--and that being said, I'm not entirely sure what I just read here. Your wording is very non-fiction-like and detached, making the ...

Yeah, so they need to get out of there ASAP. You have some very good description going on in this chapter. It's vivid and compelling. Here's my one little gripe: ...

Ahhh *girls.* I have a dreadful feeling Ryan is going to stick around and we're going to like her eventually. But right now, she's seriously annoying. I get that she's ...

Ahhh this is accurate. I love how this poem explains it. It's not really the things a child is missing, it's the fact that everyone else has them. The child ...

Another good chapter with more good description. You have very good pacing so far. I like how you skipped a lot of the hoop-la involving the ambulance arriving and blah-blah-blah. ...

Well, I know this is a rather old work, but I thought I'd share my thoughts as it's here to be reviewed anyway. There are a lot of good things ...

This is a super cute poem! It has all the feels - happiness, challenge, and nostalgia. I think this poem is less about the horse the character is given, and ...

To start off, this is some very good writing. You use just enough description for a clear picture, but I never felt I was being info-dumped on. The characters also ...

You have some very strong description, good dialogue, and an intriguing beginning. If you're 14 like your profile says, this is seriously some wow-za writing! The pacing is nice, and ...

You have some great description, an excellent pace, and reasonable characters. Jack is pitiable. He has a violent personality that he tries (unsuccessfully) to control. Despite his violence and breaki

I have to agree with @Monsters here. While this work certainly has some high points, it feels much more political than personal. If that's what you're aiming for, you're achieving ...

First off, your writing style is really good! You seem to have mastered the difficult art of using just enough dialogue and just the right amount of description. You have ...