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Re: Start to a story - Nature's Finest
The Messenger Knight, here to review for KotGr. Julian sat admiring his Fathers blade; he admired the beautiful bronze hilt, This can be something you miss when writing, but using ...
Oct 10, 2013 -
Re: my story-baby dragons
The Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR. Well first off welcome to YWS, and hope you enjoy it bunches. Now, for your review. If dark lord is a character, ...
Oct 10, 2013 -
Re: What You've Done
The Messenger Knight here to review for you, and the KotGR> So, you got a small typo here:) in this cacophony, this vale Vale should be veil. I'm treading waters ...
Oct 10, 2013 -
Re: Disjointed Entanglements
The Messenger Knight here to review for KotGR. So I really liked this poem, and how you described words. Your description was beautiful, and the opposites Example on my dry ...
Oct 10, 2013 -
Re: A Stroll Amidst Seasons
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR. Man, I loved that first line. It so perfectly describes a writer. Now, onto the review. His footsteps, self taught to relative ...
Oct 10, 2013 -
Re: Chapter 1: Encounter
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR. The girl stood there on the ramp, I love this whole line, but I think taking away the word, there, would help. ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Lesser Being Prologue
The Knight Messenger here to review for Knights of the Green Room. So, I believe that the first part of this chapter, the part before the date, should be a ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Adventures of the Pokemon Journalist - Chapter 1 Part 1
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR. So Lucy is eight, and . . . whoa! The chapter is over. So, I like short chapters, but this was too ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Overcrowding in the Hawks Nest
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR. So, first off I would put this into a couple smaller paragraphs, because a big clump like this is hard to read. ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Prologue - Together We Make The Elements (Working title)
The Messenger Knight here to review as asked for. So, this seemed really, really, creepy, but that's good. But some big problems. 1. You have everything on one big clump, ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Fantastical Book 1: The Mirror (Chapter One)
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR, as requested. I will put the errors I spotted first. Its face was sort of distorted and it took a moment for ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Days of Gold Gone By: Ep.Two
The Messenger Knight here to review for you. so I saw no problems till this line. By the time I decide to leave the waterside it is hours past dark, ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: The Pack - Chapter 3 - Fawkes
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR. Oh, oh, oh, oh, OHHH! That was amazing! I loved every bit of it so much. I mean that was beautiful. And ...
Oct 9, 2013 -
Re: Love is something, but
The Knight Messenger here to review for the KotGR. So first off welcome to YWS! Hope you love it as much as I have. love finds it way in my ...
Oct 8, 2013 -
Re: What to Do?
The Knight Messenger here to review for KotGR. I didn't see anything wrong till this line. They have different role because in able for them to be just like mother ...
Oct 8, 2013