Messenger

Alright, those small details you added really do help with the story. i noticed a problem at the beginning though. “Piper!” A voice whispers from across the hall. I scowl ...

This was an awesome poem. Every line fits perfectly. I like the blank lines, then I am someone who doodles, so that is something I relate to as well. My ...

This is a really good beginning, but I have a few suggestions. Use a little more time to describe the girls coming to their father. Show a little more him ...

Hahahahahaha. This so funny Rydia. I love the quick rhyming and fast-paced stanzas. The first three lines are so random and funny. Thy instantly brought a smile to my face. ...

but the children had worn a path over the crest of the hill, where the grass was now pressed down to make traveling easier. The first part of this sentence ...

This was a cool idea, and i liked how you wrote it out. However, I do agree with Twin Seed, that you should put three dots at the end. It ...

Thus poem was really coo. I liked its rhythm, except for the this stanza. It's when I taught you To dance, And when you learned to Cry. To me it ...

Here to review. You have a couple times where you put a comma instead of a period. Here for example are a few: “A year, Thren,” her father promised, taking ...

This poem is really nice. It has sadness and happiness and hope all in one. Yet every morning, The Sun comes back, Forgiving and healing, Piercing through the fears and ...

Streams of children swept through the hall, a tangled mess of giggles and whispers and loud voices. I slipped along, an anonymous drop in a river of faces. That was ...

Here to review. This was a good chapter. I liked several things. It was a good length, not too long, not too short. The story is already one the interests ...

This was a really interesting idea. I like the way you wrote it as well. It’s my place to escape to, my own world built with my imagination’s tools with ...

Squire Malachi here to review for Knights of the Green Room. This poem has a lot of emotions in it. But I agree with Bard that this could be a ...

Here to review as a squire to the Knights of the Green Room. So, I don't know if these are your own feelings darklink, and some of them are good, ...

This was great, and I'm sure most writers flt this way at one point. I have to say that when I saw the small description before I clicked on this ...