Messenger

I'll look at the flower-girl part, but it is the second girl who speaks, not the flower-girl. I understand how the guard might not suspect it to a be a ...

This was very moving poem. Your rhyming was good, your description of how close yet apart the two characters are was really good, overall a great poem. So far everything ...

See Vivian, dragonphoenix can come up with way better names.

I hope you do, it's got me hooked!

OK, I changed the natural pond sentence, the despair one as well, and the beginning of the second paragraph. I left the strap parts, I think that's the best way ...

Oh, I don't have one right now. In my book I have a king that has no name, but that's because it first-person. Anyway, Duncan is good king name, btu ...

This is a semicolon ; I don't know what the king's name is, but you didn't mention it.

I'll get on this stuff right away. I'm not too surprised about all the mess-ups , seeing as when I started this it wasn't supposed to be a full book. ...

Sorry had to switch some chapter stuff around because of creating an extra one, so you should move this review to chapter 2.

Yay! I have to say that it sounds like the more recent my writing the better it gets, so it doesn't surprise me that you like this more after just ...

Very pretty poem, I love it. Your descriptive words and metaphors are very well done. Great poem. Keep it up!

Yes, I'd like to know what you think of the changes I'll make.

No prob. i know you can a better hook to the story, you got me with your other writing.

What? Hey, he didn't info dump you so . . . I'm having some trouble with that right now! And I'm not too happy about it.