Mo.

“Excuse me young miss. May I have this dance?” Alyssa turned around to find a young gentleman, possessing freckles. “Why of course.” She answered. She took his hand and began ...

This is really good. Your idea is so original, and it's great!!! I'm not a poem writer or anything like that, so I can't really criticize all that much. Lovely ...

Hi, I'm Mo. This is my review: Due to some mix-up, an unimportant target like Dallas had received over eighty megatons during the war. The huge crater was filled by ...

Hi, I'm Mo. Just a quick review. I wandered aimlessly for I Knew that I would not find home soon. This should be: I wandered aimlessly for I knew that ...

This is a good story. I presume there is quite alot before that I haven't read, but the story is interesting. It raises alot more questions about him, about her. ...

Thanks for the tips. I really appreciate it and I agree, I wasn't quite sure how to make her pretty, but not pretty at the same time. Thanks :)

I've added more, tell me what you think, (not done yet). Sorry that it's a bit long. Thanks :D It’s funny how you think that you’re so close to getting ...

This is a good work. I love the way you have tied a story about a story into a story. (Starting to consue me). I didn't see any really obvious ...

Okay, The massive tantrum where chessa looks for her mum, I think you could and should shorten. At the beginning she is in perfect health (or so you say), so ...

[deleted]

You have put "a hour" and I think it should be an hour. There are other spelling errors, and missing words though, but that was the main thing I found. ...

I like your style of writing, it's very interesting. I'm not sure if I've missed some, but I would love to read more. I'm not quite sure what they are, ...

You changed tenses a bit, and their are afew spelling errors. You've also missed wwords here and there and that gets confusing. A good story line, and I am very ...

There are afew spelling and punctuation errors that can be fixed. I like her attitude. "middle name unknown"- I think maybe that isn't needed, and her whole description is a ...

It's good, I like the style of writing, but like already mentioned the character's seem distant, I don't know anything about either of them. It has a nice poetic feel, ...