Monstrar

Yes, where exactly is this story headed? Like the user above me stated, who is your character? What are their personality traits, flaws...? No offense, but this seems like something ...

I would like to say that Georgia is very quiet when it comes to class, but I’m afraid that she is extremely loud And also in this sentence, maybe you ...

why exactly was it that no matter the season, no matter how many layers I had on, whether I had gloves on, or a hat, it didn't matter You can ...

She sat still and just looked around, not I don't think you need "just" in there Ok, I think it's a good premise and it's pretty interesting, but it goes ...

words of comfort when I am feeling down; words of humour to make me laugh on the worst of days; words of wisdom when I am confused; words of knowledge ...

This is actually really great. I enjoyed reading it and I love your characters. Thy're very interesting so far. I can't wait to read more. Keep up the good [edited] ...

Her name.....Ella. What's with the long pause? Just say: "Her name: Ella" And WOW...it's so rushed. I know it's just the outline, but if you're serious about writing a story ...

Yea, this is sort of LONG... Anyway, the first paragraph is sort of over descriptive IMO. We get the point that he doesn't talk much, but I don't think you ...

home I found my parents sound asleep and so, I didn’t have to put up with any crap about staying out so late. You can make that a much stronger ...

The pink one was always my favorite on TV too. I was always the blue one, though. You kind of have an overuse of the word always. If you reread ...

Wow, I agree with the first person who said it was awesome. Very well written, no grammar errors or anything like that...good job! I like how you introduced your main ...

"Oh Sammy, your the best!" Alix ran over to him and wrapped her arms around Sam's neck 'your' should be "you're" So, its 11:49. Its still your Birthday for another ...

drawing me back to that every time I tried to let it go. I think here you can use your wording differently to make it sound a little better. his ...

This is my first entry: You like me and never want to leave me You lover her and can't ever leave her Why can't you see you're ripping both of ...