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NinjaCookieMonster

  • Short Story » Historical Fiction, General Re: Kitchen Knifes and Ivory Hairbrushes

    Okay, so I really liked this piece, and I have but one nitpick. (inner author: Haha, seriously, one? No one's that good. Me: Yes, seriously. And she was that good. ...

    May 27, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: my burden

    OK, I actually thought the the rhythm was alright. However, maybe you should have started a new paragraph with "But the Bible also helps me keep these thoughts subdued", because ...

    May 19, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Daniel's Way-Chapter 1- (Critiques Welcome)

    Well, this was good. Nitpick: "The next time I was in a bright room, that smelled sharply of alcohol." Wording: Goood. Comma: BAAAAD. Kill it! Complaint: My only one is ...

    May 19, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Sand in a Bottle - Part One of Chapter One (Katie)

    Well, this is a first. I have no nitpicks, no complaints, no grammatical errors, nothing. WOW. Consider yourself successful. You have rendered me without critique. I actually really like the ...

    May 19, 2010
  • Lyrics » General, General Re: Hogwarts is My Only Home (an Only Exception parody)

    I thought I would bash you because I love The Only Exception, but it being Harry Potter.. well, you're safe from the wrath of Hannahsaur. Sometimes the rhythm was off ...

    May 17, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: the alcoholic eye

    ... Well. I think that if you spruced it up a little, it could be... better. However, I do think you should think about what you're putting into this site, ...

    May 17, 2010
  • Short Story » Fantasy, General Re: The Modern Oracle pt. 2

    Kay-kay! I'm Ninja, I'll be your reviewer for today. What I would change it to This had to be a dream . I turned around . T he kitchen had ...

    May 17, 2010
  • Poetry » Other, General Re: milk

    Aw, this is cute! 'Fraid I can't give a full a on review 'cause I honestly don't know how to, but I'll try. I liked the definitions, they were sweet ...

    May 16, 2010
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: .

    Mmkay! You asked, and shall receive! What I would change it to The streets were brightly lit, something that hardly made an impression on me anymore. I sat in the ...

    May 7, 2010
  • Poetry » Lyrical, General Re: Superiors

    Cool poem. What was the assignment? Nitpick time! Capitalization, first of all, was nonexistent. In line 6, did you mean 'pursuing'? 'Twas a bit short; a continuation would have been ...

    May 6, 2010
  • Other » General, General Re: Just a thought....

    Good piece, but I have to nitpick you on block paragraph. I agree totally, even though I have no younger siblings, let alone a younger brother. I went through the ...

    May 6, 2010
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Ponder Outloud.

    O.O *clears throat* Right. Um, one thing I noticed is that you are quite fond of cussing. It fit the piece, but I would make sure that you don't go ...

    May 6, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Only Hope

    HOLY COW. If you don't continue this, I will hunt you down. I am so intrigued it's not even funny. Seriously. Do not discontinue this. I will not be pleased. ...

    May 4, 2010
  • Poetry » Narrative, General Re: Ripped and Torn

    Well, I'm no poet, but this was promising. You could touch it up a bit, maybe refine it. Some ending words seemed out of place, but I could be wrong; ...

    May 2, 2010
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: An Affinity with Love

    Hi Sunny! Ok, so this was good! A very good base for a story- maybe as a prologue or something? But anyway. I think that it would make a bit ...

    May 2, 2010


You never really know how much of you takes residence in other people... We all exchange bits and pieces of ourselves with each other until we're big sparkly collages of everyone and everything we've ever loved
— GengarTheGhost