Perviguana

Being as "harsh" as I can :D Minor spelling errors: alley* wrapped* plain* starts* I think you also used the word "Mom" a tad too much on the second paragraph. ...

As the previous commenter exclaimed, you really should explain in detail what's going on. Im not being too judgemental or negative, but the readers are having a difficult time understanding. ...

The idea was very imaginative, and it proposed an amuzing theory of creation. Aside from a few grammatical errors the plot was fun to read and I liked the way ...

I really enjoyed reading this. In the beggining it had the fleeting feeling of timelessness, and towards the end I understood the point of the whole story. The shooting star ...