Phoenixfire

You all are very right on the topic of meaning. Truthfully speaking, it doesn't really mean anything. And no, it wasn't meant to be a sound poem, although that would ...

Short and sweet. Very nice. I think the edits were a good move. Points for originality on the "lemon juice" reference. Too often writers choose to resort to clichés because ...

It's a great topic, and the words are good, but I think it flows a little funny. I might be biased, though, because I tend to like either completely free ...

Wonderful. I approve wholeheartedly and offer kudos. You took a great topic and followed it through to the end with no half-steps or faltering in between. Keep up the good ...

I like it, a lot, but I think you might have developed the dark/light contrast a bit more. Although, as it is, it's a good poem. I love the rhythm.

I like it. I also like that I don't have to get it. It sounds like an echo, circling around and going nowhere. Great stuff. I disagree with some others, ...

You have managed the indescribable feat of making a poem that is at once both creepy and profound. I don't know whether to congratulate you or worry about you. Oh, ...

A softer way To dizzle-dazzle A brighter way To roll the walk This is the way we Coke the rattle As we stumble over chalk.

Very, very nice. I love the last line. Many kudos to you!

you have just made my day. I was sure that fratricide was a term for killing a sibling. I never dreamed I could be so lucky as to get a ...

A sunset, gold and blue A purple-silk wrapped debut Tracks across the western sky God in nature glorified The ocean waves crest and wash Against a line that's never crossed ...

When I get more inspiration on this topic, I'll write more and add to this. The lack of capitalization/punctuation was on purpose, as sort of a contribution to the middle-of-the-night ...

no, you're not missing anything. it was random. the general feeling was that of being comforted by a ghost singing in the dark, because in the middle of the night ...

I applaud your topic. good show. all kudos to you, brava, etc. etc.

*crunch crunch* spider. yum. yeah, the being eaten at the end threw me. the rhythm is a bit erratic, but I think it works.