Rei

Yeah, I'm with kris on the rhyming. I've never been a fan of inconsistent rhyming schemes myself. That was really the only area I saw that needs improving. It's very ...

We have cities too though. I can't sleep without the noise of traffic Very Happy. Like her, I find it slightly unnerving. I know you do, but from everything I've ...

Please read the rules. You're supposed to post two reviews before posting any of your own work.

Thanks for being patient with me. I finally finished it just now. I did it all in Microsoft Word, so here;s the attachment

Bumpity. Edits have been posted!

A rant in this context is a type of monologue. The writer or speaker is typically talking directly to the audience and the thoughts are not necessarily disjointed or disorganized, ...

It's got a nice sound to it and flows very smoothly, but as others have said, it's a little dull. Be visual with your choice of words and make sure ...

I like it. The only thing that would make it better is rework the rhythm a bit so that every stanza is the same, and to give it a consistantly ...

Well, poetry isn't for everyone. Perhaps if that is what you like to do, maybe non-fiction prose is more your thing. Still doesn't mean you shouldn't learn all the skills ...

I would say that you're still in that horrid show-don't-tell territory. To get out of it, think of the images that these feelings and situations make you think of and ...

As Snoink said, you need focus. I'm slightly ADD, and I could not keep my attention on this at all because it's so disjointed. There are lots of interesting ideas, ...

Hey, loved your poem! I just gotta say, for the people who were dissing your poem...IF YOU DON'T LIKE WHAT IT'S SAYING, DON'T READ IT!! I, for one, thought it ...

Thanks, yoyo, I got the idea of going barefoot from the movie Whale Rider. As a sort of method acting thing they did for the star, she didn't wear shoes ...

Before I give you any comments, please get rid of that appostrophe. You aren't talking about anything that belongs to a haiku.

Anything in particular you liked, or thoughts on how I could make certain terms more understood?