Rydia

Okay so I've started the critique but I'm tired now and have to be up early tomorrow but here's what I have so far and I'll finish it tomorrow. I ...

This is really good, Amelia and I love how you've introduced the characters. A few specific points first... DEE Stop dawdling, the both of you. Now as I was saying. ...

Sorry this took so long... I tend to start with general comments but this piece is in parts so I think I shall get the specific suggestions out of the ...

Hey Areida! This is amazing. I just had to say that first. As for suggestions... The plot of this is fantastic. I really admire how well you've integrated the beauty ...

I think most of the grammar and structure mistakes have been caught again so I'll just give you the same advice as before on that - go through and update ...

This is a really good start Pol but you should probably update the thread now - make the corrections that people have suggested to you and then it will be ...

Some physical description of the character and scenery would be nice and would help reveal a lot about May but what you have implies that she would make a very ...

I love how deep this poem is and it's so well written! This is the sort of piece that I find myself re-reading so that I can give the words ...

I like this. There's a lot of emotion in this story, your description is nice and it's a brilliant opening. I'd love to see where you go with this and ...

Hey Reyu! I love the story so far. You portrayed Loki really well and I like your descriptions and I must say, I love the use of the yin and ...

Of course you're welcome to return and it's nice to meet you. You have a very good story here with a nice, sophisticated style. Your characters are interesting and believable ...

It's a nice start. You seem to be telling rather than showing most of the time but then, it's a prologue so that doesn't matter too much. The plot you ...

Hi again! First off, did you mean to repeat that first part over and over again? If so, I wouldn't and if, as I expect, it was a typo, you ...

Hi there. First off, I'd like to say that I found this story interesting. I like the concept of having a dumb character but perhaps she should use sign language ...

I agree that the comma isn't needed there and perhaps have a full stop after sky. Other than that though, I think the simple structure works really well here and ...