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Satira

Satira

  • Novel / Chapter » Spiritual, Health Re: Sage and The Sick-O's// Chapter One

    this is very long. and it's all the same, really. it sounds like you have a whole lot of experience with this. The girl doesn't really have a personality except ...

    Nov 28, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Fantasy, Action / Adventure Re: Chapter 39: The Sacrifice

    Hi! I haven't read the rest of this story so i can't say anything about plot, really. But i saw that you had 0 reviews so i wanted to do ...

    Nov 28, 2014
  • Poetry » Romantic, General Re: In This Moment.

    I liked this, but there are a lot of cliches. like 'lovingly'. you do not need 'lovingly.' this is a love poem. we know it's lovingly. other cliches: crystal clear ...

    Nov 28, 2014
  • Poetry » General, General Re: the moon is no replacement for a brother

    wow. I loved this. I really did. It's hard to explain why though. (*facepalm*...i'm supposed to be REVIEWING it) i'm just going to nitpick for now. 'creating swirls' is a ...

    Nov 28, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Supernatural Re: Ironclaw (Book 1): Characters and Prologue

    god, i LOVE warriors. haven't read it in a while, but i see and like where your inspiration came from. you give the characters, their appearances, and their jobs, but ...

    Nov 26, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, Other Re: Worthless

    I like this story, so i'm going to be super nitpicky and irritating. Humor me, please. after 'street', consider making a new paragraph before 'Just'. It gives a nice moment ...

    Nov 24, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Science Fiction, Technology Re: Blade Online ch.2 The First Fight (not completed yet)

    since I've seen SAO, i'm a little confused. I have no indication that this is the world of SAO. It just sounds like kids meeting in the real world. or ...

    Nov 24, 2014
  • Short Story » Dramatic, Science Fiction Re: Voices

    hi! here's what i will say the tense sounds forced. I know present tense is annoying, but using past tense for this story doesn't sound quite right to me. when ...

    Nov 24, 2014
  • Novel / Chapter » Mystery / Suspense, Supernatural Re: Diakrino - The Darkness within (Preface/Introduction)

    Contrary to the last comment, i did not like the beginning. The 'I forgot to introduce myself', has been overused and wrongly so, because it sounds corny, and like the ...

    Nov 23, 2014
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Realistic Re: Woes of being a Vampire

    Hi! I'm going to like, jump into it. I like the concept of this story, but there are a few things that are a little confusing and have to do ...

    Nov 23, 2014
  • Other » Dramatic, Narrative Re: Mother: An Excerpt

    Hi! so, this is what i would say. The starting line sounds a little rushed. actually, i don't even think it's really needed, at all. the second line is really ...

    Nov 15, 2014
  • Short Story » Horror, Other Re: The Nightmare Man

    hm... i like that you're writing a horror story, because i haven't seen that in a while. unfortunately, all scary stories do virtually nothing to me in terms of fear9even ...

    Nov 14, 2014
  • Script » Dramatic, Romantic Re: Cindy

    this is what i'm going to say: a lot of these ideas have to be more specific. i know that when you're filming, you have to do it in a ...

    Nov 14, 2014
  • Short Story » Fantasy, Other Re: Wolf Arena

    I think this is...exactly like the warriors. Except for the planned murder. your main character is a murderer. And i don't think she cares. Which is going to make her ...

    Nov 9, 2014
  • Short Story » Realistic, Teen Fiction Re: And All That Was Left...

    well, i like the format... it's interesting. this is what i have to say. people don't write in their journals like that. The thing is, they write in their journals ...

    Nov 9, 2014


When a person tells you you hurt them, you don't get to decide you didn't.
— Louis C. K.