SeraphTree

Hello, Dragnet; I'm going to give you a line by line crit. :D Her long, flowing white dress, dark hair and violet eyes hidden by a silver mask drew all ...

Beautiful. Truly beautiful work, Etain. :) I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. :D Just a couple things I noticed: It glanced from side to side. The sweeping planes below and the ...

Hello Telle. :) I'm going to give you a line by line crit. :) The Elders are seated on tall silver chairs Here you used present tense. It should be ...

Hello, Reuben. :D No. I did not get across. the elders used a device, carved out of stone, an arch, great gargoyles on either side, like pillars. Their tongues stick ...

Hello again, Kevzta. :) He staggered to the log, dragging the small carcass with him, where his friend, Mark, waited for him. This doesn't make sense; the rabbit isn't long ...

Hello, Kevzta. :) The bird plummeted to its death. I think you can expand this into a paragraph, give us more of an introduction. :) The hare nibbled on a ...

Hello, Nariel. :D I'm going to critique your work. :D:D:D There’s something big happening and the world is looking around for help. Hm. I suggest you expound; it sounds like ...

Hi there Natalie. :) Such a young age. I ‘d so many plans for the future and now that is all turned to dust. I will never again be able ...

What up mon ami. :D Loved Shiva's statement at the end there. XD Freaking hilarious. Hm. There were only a few things I saw in this piece. The beginning was ...

The beginning is a little lacking in details. What does Josette feel at her father's funeral? What does she think? Towards the middle it picks up and becomes more interesting. ...

Hm. Well, to me, it sounds like describing a horse race from TV. You see them run, but there's not nearly as much exhilleration as if you're actually there. ;) ...

The first few paragraphs are rather large, and make the story seem like it's too much to read. :) If you break a few of those up, I will crit ...

Zankoku!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D There were just a couple of things I noticed: After... after enduring torture for three years, returning to her home and family only to find out that a

Well, I would crit, but it seems that everyone has critted this piece of yours. o.O :D That's okay. I did crit your second piece, just letting you know. ;) ...

:D Hm. It's interesting, but a little confusing. “Cassius! Don‘t scare me like that!” I said to Cassius. “I got to go” I said giving him a kiss on his ...