Sgt.Pepper

I agree with SlickJimmy, it's a bit confusing. I think playing with the line breaks and experimenting with this could make it a better poem. not all the lines have ...

It was really good. I liked the words in the brackets, they flowed nicely. the only thing that, seemed kind-of-not-up-to-par was 'playing old records', it seemed kind of cliched. Although, ...

I don't know... The rhyming seems sloppily done. At first, you try, but then the rhyming gets increasingly more chaotic as the poem goes on. Plus, the metering seems way ...

There is some parts where I wanna say, SHUT UP. But there are also some parts where the poem has some potential. Like in: Nightmares, of the past Knowing I ...

It's pretty good. But it kinda seemed like you stuffed it a bit much. Don't worry about making it too long, there's no such thing...unless it gets repititive. In other ...

Yes, unique creativity comes from unique things(nudge,nudge). I think the "language" (motherfucker) somewhat brought the poem down, and it would be better without. Anyways other than that, the abstrat

Cool, I like the title. How it is, no matter how corny that sounds. It sounds random and somewhat original. That's now going to make my brain think of moths ...

Awesum job. I think the first word on the second line could be pushed up to the line before it. That way both of your first "introduction" lines, don't both ...

I understand that you just wanted to write something down, but we're here to help you. I think the meaning was strong, but the writting had no edge. Just think, ...

I liked it alot, to. The perfect " i have writers block" peom. Because I’m scared and bored and waiting I don't think you need the "because" there. Other than ...

Hey, this was really well writing. Kinda reminded me of a nice, kinda jack johnson style, song. I really liked this part it seemed good to me. Torn petals crinkle ...

Yupe sounding way better! The ending is sounding better. But either way i liked the end. With the colors of fake emotion And the black lines of your imaginary reality ...

the lyrics where great. Sadly i couldn't listen to the song, bloody computer, lol. But you can tell by reading the lyrics that it's a rap song. Kudos. And Everything ...

Ok, giving them a one line reply telling them that you hate it, isn't going to help. Why dont you show her which lines where cheezy and what to do ...

I totally understood this. And it was totally great. I feel cold underneath my creamy blue jumper. My arms are colder than that time you touched me with your frozen ...