Shimmer

I agree with xanthan gum, this could use some work.

Ameen, Khayriyyah.. This is made me want to cry.

Yes, derange should be deranged. I liked it pretty was cute. :P -*Shimmer

Freaky..but awesome.

Very...I cannot find the word. I enjoyed reading this poem, but did not understand as much as I would like to. My favorite stanza would have to be the last ...

You're welcome.

Pretty good. You missed commas in a few places, I've noticed. Keep up the good work. -*Shimmer

I love simply shows your love and care for your sister. The last line is awesome, I think Latin is great.. Good work :) -*Shimmer

I love random non-sensical jumble!

Thank you very much! I edited it to reflect your observations. I hope they're satisfactory. You're welcome. Just here to help as much as I can.

Thank you..:P

I don't want it to have imagery..just short, simple, and quickly romantic. Thank you for all of your comments, and for your suggestions everyone.

No, no, it does not. At least it looks like it does..but that's just a coincidence..

Thanks for the comments everyone, I'm going to look over the poem and change some things. Especially Writersdomain, thanks for the big help.

I'm not understanding..are you asking what my avatar means? The avatar is just an avatar I guess..why is there something wrong with it?