Shine

hmmmm...Thanx!

Is that the title of the poem?

Indeed short and sweet and expressive!

Thats just a great work Edward,I liked it a lot. I don't think so there is anything to be corrected here. Keep it up!!:)

I would just say that nice job.... It was a good piece to read. Keep writing and posting!!;)

A teen girl is the narrator.

:?

It was simple and was kind of straight forward,so you can get the message easily. Keep writing and posting! ~Shine~

Its flows very well,nice piece of work. The last paragraphs repitition did work out,Keep it up thats all i can say for now.:)

Yeah if you improve thsi a little more I guess it will be a nice poem dear.

First of all I would like some punctuations in this poem.Don'rt forget to punctuate them. Frankly saying the starting was a bit abstract for me. I would say the poem ...

Hey HeartsUnspoken!! That was just very lyrical indeed I would say,I kind of liked it. The flow of the poem was good. You have done a good work on lyrics. ...

Hmmmmm.... impressive indeed.Keep up the good work!!

carelessaussie13:The last two lines were like the true conclusion of the poem,or you can say thats the point I wanted to bring out.And I admit that I couldn't bring that ...

anyways it had feelings into it.:)