Sierra

Wow. This is my favorite chapter so far. I love the emotion. My nitpicks: * I thought, nearly ripping the feathers out of the chicken’s pink skin. Poor chicken. How ...

Hi, Forestqueen808! This was as good as the first chapter, if a little short! My critiques: *You say '[quote“Mother, I can’t stay away. I want to be with them, I ...

Very good. I only have a few nitpicks. *I think your characters need to be a little more 3D. They are people. They have fears, likes, dislikes. Make them real!!! ...

Poor Stephanie Meyer! Go Jacob!!! Even though i an a die-hard twilight fan, i liked this. However, i do have a few nitpicks. *A few of your facts aren't quite ...

Hi, Currer. I'm a huge fan of the twilight series, so this caught my eyes. I really liked it. My nitpicks: *I think you should check your grammar. Words like ...

I loved the general idea of this story. But your writing style definitely made this worth reading. I love the way you describe your scenes, without going over board. Robin ...

I had to write a tiny sample thingy for something for other a few months ago, and this came up. I didn't do anything with it until today, so its ...

Wonderful, Ranger Hawk.I'm a real sucker for medeival stuff (swords, castles, armor, ahhhhhh...) and this really caught my interest. I think you could make your MC's personality more apparent, but ...

Very good, although your grammar could use a little touching-up. I like your general idea, even if it is a little bloody. Keep on writing!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh, wonderful ending! I loved reading it. This sounds like the prologue to a novel or something. I kind of feel bad for the little boy....

Ooooooooooooooh, what happened!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!? I am DYING to read more!!! What happened to Kyla? Was the beginning a dream? This radiates awesomeness. i Must read more.

AWESOME!!! I actually felt sad when i read the last sentence. I knew nothing about the MC, but her death makes me sad. i like that. I really like that. ...

I really like this. I liked how your characters meet each other, and i like the 'love at first sight' thing. I loved how the beginning drew me in, and ...

Hey Klpidnc12! I really liked your story, however, i have a few nitpicks. I'm a huge fan of the twilight series, and i like how your putting Renesmee through what ...

This is a lot like the original version, posted in General Fiction, with some tweaking and edits. I was listening to Human, by Killer on the radio, and this image ...