SnapesOnAPlane

Very heartfelt and sad. I could feel the emotion through the words. The only issue I had was with: You can judge a person By how they act when they ...

This was very sweet. I liked how you showed the mother's love through her actions, and not just by saying how much she loved. There were some tense issues, where ...

Like! Off the bat though: she’d been disappointed to see that it was only numbers – until she realized that in fact a link. I think that should probably be ...

I've been there before. It's funny how people can get so wrapped up in technology. Anyway, I thought it was nice. Funny, well paced, and the characters seemed natural with ...

Wow. That's really all I can say. The build up was perfect, I had an inkling earlier in the chapter what might be up, but I didn't know for sure ...

I liked the sort of...social commentary, I want to call it, of the desensitized boys watching the couple argue. It really said a lot, without actually saying a lot. And ...

A bit too much dialogue for my taste, I think there should be some non-speaking parts in there, particularly to break up the flow of dialogue. I was also confused ...

I like the idea going here, but it felt a bit rushed to me. I would keep the beginning as is, but when she wakes up I would stretch it ...

I liked the romantic moments, they were very sweet. Flame and Muse interacted very naturally with one another. The only real issue I had was with their names. "Muse" and ...