Snoink

You can make it better. :P I would make the barbie sound a little bit dumber. And this part of the poem doesn't seem to fit: Does that make me ...

Read all of it. :P Her eyes flicked down too stare at the pavement beneath her feet. Not "too" but "to." Also... when I first read it, I thought Charlie ...

Ouch... that hurts just thinking about it.

They can't be the same though... "The radio turned on." So... there are places it isn't interchangable. But when you seem to use "on" for positioning... Hmm... Onto still seems ...

How can I refuse now? *whaps head* Though I still think it would be awesome if she were eaten by coyotes. ***************************** It was about predawn when she finally heard ...

I get these confused all the time... Basically, when do you use the word "on" and when do you use the word "onto?"

Write something stupid. We can be part of the writesomethingstupid club! :)

...therefore, I am going to be forcing myself to write the crappiest work that you've ever seen! Wish me luck. :)

She was running, but she didn’t quite know why. After all, it was just an accident. It wasn’t her fault – really. It was all society’s fault… yeah, that was ...

I like the stag actually. I forgot the movie, but I read the book and I remember the stag being the most awesomest character around. When he said to Gobo ...

That's because it's a fragment. Remember this sentence? The cat ran in the rain. You're basically saying: The cat the rain. You need a verb in there that is telling ...

Chocolates?

"What makes you think it's not hiding?" would be the best actually, lol.

A stupid perv. :P But... I've cluttered my blog enough with that, lol. Better not clutter the entire forum. O_o

Pretty good! Because I'm unmerciless, I'm going to be nitpicky. “Ow,” he said. “That hurts!” This is where you need to use punctuation to make your words stronger. Even this ...