Snoink

Zelithon! You can't be nice! Your heart just can't handle that! PARAMEDICS!

When your head starts to spin And your mind gently bends And you want to be obsessed Without all that mess And your teeth yearn to ache With the sweetness ...

AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs away and whimpers* I mean... um... German shepherds rock!

I would probably find myself so sexy, that I would try to masturbate... But, of course, that attempt would probably fail, so then I'll probably wake up in a hospital. ...

I'm not sure what to do... compliment you on the work or for attempting the work in the first place. Sonnets elude me. Um... good job!

Never let a pig dance. I did try to dance... honest. But when he cranked up the disco music, I couldn't help myself. I started slipping all over the place... ...

Ha, nice surprise. ;) I would go with "raspberry red." In fact, that's how I read it at first. My only other comment is that you really need to spellcheck ...

I like the last two lines. Otherwise... um... yeah. I think the problem is you're trying too hard to rhyme, but you're forgeting about metering. Remember: metering is more important ...

I have to agree with Natyr here... the first part of the poem is really strong, but as soon as you delve into a different subject, it loses its strength. ...

AS I watch they transform into knives. Is the first word supposed to be capitalized? Other than that, very interesting. Usually I don't like anything with slashed wrists, but this ...

No! Writing about female dogs in a super confusing way is great! I've done it before with a poem called Penelope... it makes me sound like a lesbian. XD But ...

Yes! That is the whole point of writing. Expand your boundaries. :)

For Daddy, by Ari [awwwwwwwwww...] Snowbirds, by yoha_ahoy [jumps around with a bird book in hand]

Everyone, give a big aw on the count of three. One... Two... THREE! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW... With that said, a charming poem! I love the plaid shirts line. :) Daddies are so ...

Now the last line seems too wordy. But at least the other lines seem to be a little more "with" the poem. Oh, don't you love poetry? ;)