Snoink

^ Is in my new storybook. ;)

I like fire and ice better. For a beginner, this is good.

Oh yes, that's true. The general rule is, don't submit more than a couple of chapters online on a writing forum, unless that forum is very small and protected from ...

XD Why should you feel sorry for me feeling the way I did? If it is meant to be hated, you did a good job, lol! Just fix that one ...

Hehe! I've been thinking about it for awhile now, and this has turned into one of my favorite poems on YWS. :) And it takes a lot for me to ...

In this case, just because this seems to be a more classical piece of writing, I would rhyme it. The metering, in this case, wouldn't be as important as the ...

I agree with Yoshi. Capitalization is a must, especially here. It looks unreadable without it. Sometimes you can get away with not capitalizing, but in this case, no.

I don't know... The rhyming seems sloppily done. At first, you try, but then the rhyming gets increasingly more chaotic as the poem goes on. Plus, the metering seems way ...

"I hadn't sought to create a legend, but nor had a believed to see myself one." This sentence makes no sense. :? I'm not quite sure what you're trying to ...

His humor is a little tricky to catch though, lol. I'm reading Oliver Twist now though. :P

^ 8/10 It looks like chicken little with PMS, lol.

^ Had an avvie no one seemed to like... I forgot what it was though, lol. :P

If you used parallelism, it would be much better. I.E. When I was sad You gave me that hope When I was mad You gave me peace. When I was ...

this is great i will come back to this. *follows Haze and also bookmarks this page* *Also follows Emma and bookmarks this page* Heh heh, I always try to avoid ...

If I critique something, I want people to see it. :?