Snoink

Is this autobiographical? Twice in the story, you put semicolons where there should be apostrophes, be careful of that. Also, take care of sounding repetive. This piece wasn't bad, but ...

It'll be so easy. Nobody'll know I meant to do it. If I time it right everyone will think it was just an accident. Do it a few minutes before ...

Sure! You gotta look better than me! :D

You used adjectives to your full advantage! Good job.

:( There heads came off easily without me trying to mutilate them.

Yes but... I was giving my opinion! :lol: Listen to Reichieru. She's always right. :D

I want to be a professional writer! That is, I want to write the obituraries in some newspaper! :D

^ Has an interesting blog.

The best thing you can do is just to start writing. As you have it, I have no opinions about the story (except that sentence combination skills might be a ...

Why are you describing all of their physical appearences? When you do describe character, do not use slang like, "six pack." My first thought was "a six pack of what? ...

It's like most of the story is invisible. I can scroll up and I won't see anything, but when I scroll down, I can see a couple of things. It's ...

^ Doesn't know about the Beatles.

He is a cutie. ^____^ But... he's 5+ years older than us. :P

Remember: without the tail, the squirrel would be just a rat.

Chevy: I suppose it is a corny line, but I took the first two lines from a "friendship" spam email and then gradually transformed it into something really... dark. I ...