-
Re: sappy love song (aka mess with your head?)
Hey mixed! :D So! Your first verse was all about moving on and then you started talking about the past, so it seemed like you weren't talking about moving on ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Zombies Want My Brain, Part 2 *Revised*
Hey EA! I'm coming back for more! :D I want more insanity! You teased us in the first chapter with the threat of zombies and this kind of seemed random, ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Zombies Want My Brain, part 1
Oh man.... this was awesome! I love how humorous it is and everything. The intro made me laugh (now THAT'S how you do a prologue!) and the story was just ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: The Dragon War Chapter 5 & 6
Hey Jarred! First of all, I wanted to point out that you have two chapter sixes in this post! It's a bit weird, so you might want to edit that ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: The Dragon War Chapter 3 & 4
Hello again! This might just be me being crazy, but there are some parts of this story that really remind me of Eragon, such as him being able to communicate ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: The Dragon war Chapter 1
Hey Jarred! Oy, yes, the writing does seem to be a little young! But when you get ready for publication, I hope you'll revise these chapters. They seem very quick! ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Prolouge of The Dragon Wars
Hey Jarred! I think it would be better for you to just get rid of the prologue and let us dive into the juicier parts of the book. After all, ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Little One
Aww! I love poems from parents about their kids. :) So cute! The main thing is that it says your "strong hands/cradling..." but it makes it sound like the baby ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Lies Like Roses and Thorns
Hey silentpages! What an excellent short story! At one point in the middle, I was really anxious... I was afraid that the king would have his way and it would ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: In the End
Hey ladyworkz! This poem is as confusing as whatever you are talking about! I mean, I know that you are talking about some sort of conflict, but I can't really ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Needs and Wants
Hey defend! One thing I noticed with this was the lack of chorus... and obviously I'm looking at this without knowing the music or how it would be played or ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: un named story. preface and chapter 1-surfaces.
Hey Kea! Sorry for not critiquing this sooner! :D So, I was reading this and thinking, "Hmmmmmmm." Because this really reminds me of what I did with my novel, at ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Dreams
Hey VioletJune! I'm not sure if I would call this a story... it kind of reminds me of a monologue, like in a play or something! Like, a character just ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Wish She Would've
Hey Tale! :D I didn't read your note at first and I was thinking, "Wow, these would be great lyrics, if they were in a country song!" And then I ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Report A Site Bug
"Other" doesn't count for critiques! :'(
May 31, 2010