Snoink

Hey Elinor! So I never read "The Lightning Thief" so if this has something to do with that... well... I have no idea. :P However, I adore Greek mythology, so ...

Hey Lezalean! :D One of the things that I think would really make this piece stronger is by combining the narrative more effectively with the dialogue. I like dialogue heavy ...

Hey, L5! This piece is really confusing right now! You jump from a prison to a party, and it just doesn't quite make sense. Instead of putting everything at once ...

Nice advice, Trace! Some of it was right on the mark. :) The main critique I would like to give you is organization, organization, organization! You need to be able ...

Hey elfwriter! :D One of the things that struck me about this piece was the lack of focus it seemed to have! Although there was a lingering, unresolved problem with ...

Hey Winie! :D First of all, sorry for not getting to this piece sooner! Now... let's get to the critique, shall we? :) I really want to see some action ...

Hey, LovePeace! :D First of all, welcome to YWS! Okay, now that's done... I think this is pretty interesting story, but I am kind of a sucker for ghost stories, ...

I have to admit... I kind of adore these pictures. Well, not so much of Pon, but the buildings are fantastic. In fact, this reminds me of something that one ...

Hey Mo! One thing that I think would make this even prettier is if you varied the thicknesses of colors! Right now, it's kind of uniform, which makes it seem ...

Hey mizzy! I know what you're trying to do... really, I do! But I don't like it. It's not as concise and pretty as Hemingway's story. Plus, with Hemingway's story, ...

Hey Auteur! It looks like you have a crazy dream here, and because of that, I kind of adore this piece. It's really unique and surreal and awesome, in general. ...

Hey defendthelegend! So, obviously you really don't like social networking sites! This is fine. But reading your poem, we really don't get a clear idea as to why you don't ...

Hey Nativecatcher! I would like more of a play-by-play of the game and less adjectives used when describing the chessmen. It's pretty clear at the start that you are talking ...

Hi Angel! The sun orbits/around your moonless soul What are you talking about here? It's not very clear. I know it can't be Jupiter or the Sun or Saturn or ...

Hey Kevo! One of the things that kind of annoyed me was the constant crying! And mind you, I've been to these sorts of where everybody is pretty much crying. ...