Snoink

Hey bubbles! :D This story (if it can be called that) seems more of a snapshot than anything. If you want to make it a story, if you want to ...

Hey JD! Very nice beginning -- I am definitely loving the rebellious, sneering attitude in the beginning! This poem has personality, and that's wonderful. The problem is, after the introduction, ...

Um... lately, my critiques have been taking about three minutes. And yes, I suck. XD

Hey Lady! :D This poem could use a little less iffiness, if that makes sense. Right now, it seems like you're trying not to say something definitively, which is never ...

Hey BlueKangaroo! :D Okay, so I went to the Action/Adventure section hoping to find something that wasn't oozing of teen angst and fake conflict, and I found this . This ...

Ooh! What a fantastic story! And by fantastic, I mean it has wonderful fantasy aspects with odd, quirky details that make it all so much better! I totally "liked" it. ...

Haha, that is AWESOME. Is there any reason why your family, in particular, used to say "Rabbit Rabbit Rabbit!"? Or did the just say it? And what did your teacher's ...

Hi Aristotle! :D I would probably get rid of the prologue... it tells the reader what to expect, but as a reader, I would rather read something with tons of ...

The problem is, I could ask those questions... but more likely than not, the only question I wonder is, "Why should I care?" Don't spoon-feed your readers... but do give ...

Awww... romance! :D Try to avoid the pitfall of describing every single little thing about your characters... it's better to describe them in increments rather than describe them in a ...

Strong statements should be that -- strong. But this is so ambiguous and vague that it's hardly such. Without your explanation, it would have meant absolutely nothing to anyone... and ...

Hey Howler! I rated your piece 16+ because it has the word "fuck" in it. :) Interesting premise! I like well-crafted reflection scenes that really make it so that we ...

Layla! You got me at my knees... Okay, no more Eric Clapton references. :D This poem has a weak start! Because this a poem that is essentially about rape, it ...

Hey! You asked me to look at your poem again. Anyway, when I said what I did, I mean you need to condense it into the bare minimum and to ...

What I live - Is more real then you'd ever dream