Snoink

Nice! Very Shel Silverstein of you... I approve. :)

You start off strong and with attitude (which I always like) but then you started listing weird-sounding desserts, which was very off-putting. True, you had some commentary attached to the ...

Hey Kookie! When writing poetry, you want to catch your read off guard. Make them a little off-balance, surprise them with the power of your words... make them drunk with ...

You may consider just posting the text on YWS. It may get you more reviews. :)

This is awful. Its entire purpose as a poem is to preach and rant. It has neither introduction or conclusion. Worst yet, it flip-flops and uses imprecise language to persuade... ...

What I don't quite understand is what is the timing of this piece? Usually, in poems about trees, the trees get older and wiser, but this tree seems to be ...

This looks to be one of those works that you tried to make it sound all artsy because you made something slightly pretty and then decided, "Hey! It's too pretty! ...

It doesn't quite sound like the dancer in the story. I mean, you have a strict format to work with, but you can tweak it so that the story is ...

OMG! OMG! You're back! :D I've missed you and your pretty poetry! Except this wasn't pretty... very gritty. I pretty much loved it and its dirtiness. Lovely stuff! A grammar ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! The other guys were right! There were a lot of grammatical errors, but they can be easily fixed. Just take the time and fix it. ...

Hahaha... you didn't mention the TOP-SECRET ADVANCE OF THE GREETERS IN QINGHAI. Oops. I mean...

DUN DUN DUN! Cliffhanger! Get on it, man! :P

I think this is the poem that you've been wanting to write for all these years. It's lovely. :)

But... does it coil... like a snake? ;) But yeah... I totally know what's going to happen next (and yes, the spoilers are spoilers for a reason... they will curdle ...

LOL! Still trying to argue with your reviewers, eh? When will you ever learn? ;) So... this isn't going to be a review. Really. Because it's late and stuff and ...