Snoink

*Moved to Other Poetry*

Hmmm... there seem to be a couple of inconsistencies here. Unless this guy is eight or ten feet tall, it's very unlikely that the child is eye line with the ...

Zomg! You're from California too! *snugs* Are you norcal or socal? :P

Nope, sorry.

...and Merry Christmas! askjfgdkg! So what are you getting me for your birthday? :D

3/10 I didn't want to finish reading the first sentence. It didn't make sense. You start the sentence off by saying that he raises his hand? Um... elementary school much? ...

Writers groups are fantastic. Mine usually consists of us gossiping about boys and eating chocolate. And sometimes there's discussion about writing. But really! You should just go. They'll probably lo

Well, this piece certainly screams out car crash. The first part starts intriguing... yes, the narrator is a pompous, self-centered asshole, but he's at least interesting about it and he ...

Haha, I'm glad you like it! :D If you need any assistance, just bug me. I'll be glad to help. :D

Hehhee... oh dear. This sounds like a candy commercial gone awry. I don't think the baby is actually a baby... maybe a Sugar Baby, just because of the sticky coat. ...

Hello walawala and welcome to YWS! I'm Snoink and I am to be your critiquer today, which basically means that I get to give you advice on how to improve ...

To be fair, it does seem to have the same sort of idea as Robert Frost's poem did... :P Departmental by Robert Frost - 1936 An ant on the tablecloth ...

Oy, do you remember be? Because I think I saw you, but I'm not sure I did and everything. XD I was Snoink there, and I hear I was extremely ...

XD Another writer did that too... the guy who did Calvin and Hobbes had the noodle incident, but we didn't know what it was because Calvin always (very quickly) changed ...

I figured I would review this and get points and stuff. BECAUSE POINTS ARE AWESOME. Anyway, so this is probably me being a grouchy adult, but I didn't really care ...