Snoink

Awww... the ending is so cute! This reminds me of Shel Silverstein or something similar, and that's good. ^_^ I think you should make your first stanza like the others ...

This was pretty cool because it asked questions instead of ranting about how horrible life was, which is really quite good, since there is too much of poetry out there ...

How odd! My favorite stanzas were even. I think I liked them the best because of the bowing trees and the dancing lilies. I mean, the rest of the description ...

Hehehe, I read this poem about winter and then yours! XD Anyway, I think you're being a little too obvious on your metaphors. I mean, I understand that you're trying ...

The second one is weird and looks like it was photoshopped poorly, so I don't really like it as much. That, and frankly the parasol looks a bit too idolistic. ...

Lovely poem! ^___^ One thing I would recommend... in the third stanza, you used a lot of "and" words. And that's bad. I can understand repetition, to an extent, but ...

Gummy, you know I love you. But you have too many typos here for me to love this piece. And I don't care if it's supposed to be artistic, because ...

I liked it. ^_^ The only thing I didn't really like were the last two lines: he compresses the makings and offers me his creation. I think you can do ...

Adam! ^_^ You can hear the critique here: And you should probably bug Adam with a critique too. He's trying to get published! :D

I always knew that Daniel had vanity issues. Aw... but we love Danny! :D

:D Awesomeness! Of course, it doesn't hurt that it's a pig...

Aye, this is in outline form, almost painfully so. It's in the traditional fairytale form, but without the flourishes that I miss. :) And all the names together are sadly ...

OH. MY. GOSH. XD You must have been very very very very very VERY bored! But I think I like it when you're bored. You should totally write more. I ...

I like your dialogue. A lot. The conflict really comes out and I feel sorry for Hikari. But, while this is a lovely story, I don't think the play format ...

Wait... aren't "bitches" females? Why are you refering to this guy as a bitch? Or maybe you got the wrong gender? It's kind of confusing.