Snoink

Okay.. you definitely have a grasp on language and stuff so I'll just tell you that you have a potential to be a great poet (you being a good poet ...

"STRAWBERRY SODA! FILL ME UP WITH SWEET SUGARY GOODNESS!" Grif turns to Nate. "Isn't there a drink limit?"

It's rated properly, no worries! :D And... oOooo... interesting. The only thing that really bugs me is that the ending seems super quick, like you wanted to get away from ...

Whee! You have a poem very much like a poetry master's poem! :D This poetry master is known as Edgar Allen Poe and his poem that is somewhat like yours ...

Hmmmm... In this case, while it is an okay riddle, I would rather you not say directly at the end, "This is an enigma" partly because the title says it ...

:D

Yes! We're twins. :D Two cakes! (Hopefully!)

Guessed I made em a bit too muscular, huh? I wanted her to be muscular, though. Soft sleek legs are for the tender. Yeah, but her legs look like they ...

But Snoink is too busy bouncing on walls because OMG. CAFFEINE! SUGAR! AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

New thread here: Go there if you want to join. *Locked*

I actually don't like the rhyming. I would prefer to see what you've written that isn't as forced as this. ;) But really. Some of the words you used aren't ...

This is a poem that deals with "navel-gazing." That is, it deals with the narrator's emotions and nothing else. Try extending your metaphor to stretch and encompass the world instead ...

This, for me, is all plot and no characters or action. Add some action! What happens during the fight scene? You have a brief introduction of who Jag is, but ...

Don't get eaten by zombies! :o

"Pretty good! CLASSES ARE OVER! HOORAY!" *steals some root beer float from Sage*