Snoink

I have to say, I like your other poem better. This is very sporadic, almost disturbingly so, flitting to one topic to another very quickly. Not sure I like it... ...

AH! You should go outside! Out! Out! Out! *beats with stick*

Aw... this is pretty stuff! I never realized you wrote poetry before. ^_^;;

First of all, this is a lovely poem, BUT you need to do spell check to make it even lovelier! And then, after spell check, read it yourself and fix ...

Okay... let's do a visualization. Pretend that poetry doesn't have any meaning whatsoever. Annoying, isn't it? Okay. Now picture a poem that has tons of meanings in it, but so ...

Heheh... it sounds like a Christian rock song. Was that your intention? Also, I moved it to Lyrics. ^_^;;

Interesting. I like the parts about the ocean, simply because DUDE. The ocean is awesome! With that said, I think I would rather you edit this down to just the ...

The poem is pretty cool (it reminds me of me playing with legos, yay!) but it could do with just a little bit more editing. Your readers know about lego ...

I don't know. It's kind of strange. Stanzas 1 & 3 and stanzas 2 and 4 go together with style, but stanzas 1 & 2 and stanzas 3 & 4 ...

Hehehe... you know you're a Beatles fan when you hear the lads singing the chorus of "All You Need is Love" while reading this poem. XD Okay. Enough of that. ...

Haha... Okay. Let's strip this down, shall we? I'm going to take out all the adjectives and adverbs of the poem. Then we'll see what's left. The time of night ...

This poem is truly brilliant. ;) As for adding? I'm too lazy for that, BUT! I think, if you're going to add on to it, I would add it on ...

Yeah... this poem is very awkward. It seems like a string of clichéd "you can do it!" sort of messages. You might have pulled it off, except it didn't really ...

The first stanza meanders a lot and doesn't seem to say anything. I mean, obviously it has imagery and everything, but it doesn't say anything, so I want to stab ...

I would probably scrap the first stanza, mostly because it talks too much about "I" and not enough about the subject matter. So the poem officially starts at the second ...