Snoink

Check the grammar. Your beginning line doesn't make sense: Today I met a lady with pupils the bled, The bled? Huh? And then you have someone [s]who's[/s] whose pupils bled. ...

Strangely enough, I did like this. :) Just read it out loud and try to smooth it further. It should turn out okay. Also, come up with a better title. ...

I like banana nut bread! But OMG. BAGELS!

Grammatically, it is correct, although very awkward. What she means to say that is, whenever she was behind you, she stayed up to write more and whenever she was ahead ...

Well... don't put labels as far as "antagonist" and "protagonist" goes. I know that, when I first started writing, I did this all the time, but I never really got ...

Well, I don't know. If you have random symbolism, without any story, then it is just fluffy imagery. What you want to do is incorporate the imagery into something tangible, ...

Wait... what do you do for kendo lessons?

Not really. I have this really light face that gets ridiculously red, so I look like a mixture of a tomato and a red onion. And I tend to blubber. ...

Meh. I don't like coffee, so that would never do! But some of those pastries... *drools*

Quite. The next person who says the words "beer bottle" shall be hit by one. -- Sadie's father ...only slightly pissed off! :D How often do you bathe?

To restrict us, I think. -- Daniel To make us laugh. -- Sadie's father To oppress. -- Sadie To make things work. -- Claude Hahaha... so fun. Do you consider ...

Dialects or actual languages? Oh well. Eight languages and nineteen dialects. -- Sadie's father Are you involved in politics?

Granted, but now he's a very smart teacher who won't accept anything but the best -- otherwise, you'll fail. I wish my driving was better!

Granted, but you have to work through the weekends cleaning bathrooms. I wish my calculus test wasn't looming over my head.

Sadly, you have no critiques. So therefore, I must give you a very lame critique that makes no sense, and hopefully others better in poetry will give you a critique. ...