Snoink

Hey inkwell! This sounds awful, but it seemed like several random thoughts were strung together, given a similar theme, and put into a poem. That is, at first you say ...

Hey trinaa! :) Glad to see you posted this on the forums! :) Anyway, on to the critique! First of all, you have a number of typos in this! For ...

Hey personalinsanity! :D One thing I would really like to see is more description of the gaping hole. You have all this description of being trapped, but I would love ...

LOL! What a crazy contest, no? :) Anyway, I really like the beginning, with the peeled orange, but then it starts to waver and rely on the random, and I ...

Hey Light Devil! Okay, this might just be me, but the beginning is waaaay too gimmicky for me to really get hooked. For the first couple of paragraphs, you implore ...

Hey Ace! I really liked this poem. It's very luscious in its description and action and it doesn't mind being fantastic -- in the fantasy sense. I also really like ...

Hey Rosey! I liked this... Shakespeare uses such beautiful language and you did a good job assembling his lines and putting it together as your own! My main problem with ...

Hey Palladin! :) One thing that I noticed was that your rhymes seemed to trip you up. That is, you seemed so intent on rhyming that you would arrange your ...

Hey mizz! :D Spanish is a beautiful language, isn't it? Anyway, with your story, it seems a little bit odd sometimes! For instance it seems strange that she would be ...

Oooh! I like the character interaction here! Very nicely done. :) Now, as far as your poem, I really, really like how the action tells the story. It reminds me ...

Hey Huthaifa! First of all! I noticed that this was in "Other." Generally, posts in "Other" don't really get that many replies compared to the other literary forums, so if ...

Hey Vernon! I remember reviewing this a while back (read: the Fontroy days) so I had to take a peek. I didn't finish all of it because it started creeping ...

OMG. A physics poem. That automatically makes me happy. Maybe even too happy! I am going to skip over the glee of electromagnetism and poetry (it totally fits... TOTALLY) and ...

Ack, I didn't realize how much earlier this was written! For some reason, I missed it when it first came up on YWS. In any case, thanks for donating this ...

Hey Captian! I'm not quite sure of this poem! It seems more like a blog entry than a poem, if that makes sense. You have all these images (the footprints ...