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Re: The Dragon war Chapter 1
Hey Jarred! Oy, yes, the writing does seem to be a little young! But when you get ready for publication, I hope you'll revise these chapters. They seem very quick! ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Prolouge of The Dragon Wars
Hey Jarred! I think it would be better for you to just get rid of the prologue and let us dive into the juicier parts of the book. After all, ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Little One
Aww! I love poems from parents about their kids. :) So cute! The main thing is that it says your "strong hands/cradling..." but it makes it sound like the baby ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Lies Like Roses and Thorns
Hey silentpages! What an excellent short story! At one point in the middle, I was really anxious... I was afraid that the king would have his way and it would ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: In the End
Hey ladyworkz! This poem is as confusing as whatever you are talking about! I mean, I know that you are talking about some sort of conflict, but I can't really ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Needs and Wants
Hey defend! One thing I noticed with this was the lack of chorus... and obviously I'm looking at this without knowing the music or how it would be played or ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: un named story. preface and chapter 1-surfaces.
Hey Kea! Sorry for not critiquing this sooner! :D So, I was reading this and thinking, "Hmmmmmmm." Because this really reminds me of what I did with my novel, at ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Dreams
Hey VioletJune! I'm not sure if I would call this a story... it kind of reminds me of a monologue, like in a play or something! Like, a character just ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: Wish She Would've
Hey Tale! :D I didn't read your note at first and I was thinking, "Wow, these would be great lyrics, if they were in a country song!" And then I ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: the dead bride walks down the isle...once more
Hey Pencil! :D That's awesome! I haven't read a good ghost story in a while, so I'm glad you posted this! Though, you should probably fix the title. You got ...
May 31, 2010 -
Re: the withering flower
Hey Eli! This is a good start, but it is by no means a final draft! The next question you should ask yourself is WHY is this particular image important? ...
May 30, 2010 -
Re: Life
Hey w5aly! One of the things I'm not sure about is that you say Anger and Hatred steal away Happiness... but how? I think that's a dramatic story that needs ...
May 30, 2010 -
Re: Darling
Hey Jon! With a short poem, you can't over-use words. And you've definitely over-used "darling." Also you said "that too" and then referred to "that" as "them" which doesn't make ...
May 30, 2010 -
Re: Roses and Rejection
Hey Sense! Okay, so maybe this is just me, but if a guy did this to me... OMG. It would be bad. Because she's all shy and stuff and then ...
May 29, 2010 -
Re: Why I'm Afraid of Dogs (Edited)
It's perfectly okay to repost it again, especially considering the amount of work that you've put into this draft! :) What a rotten owner! I think you would have been ...
May 28, 2010
