Snoink

Hey Jester! At first, I was like, "Awww, what a sweet poem!" and then I kept reading it and my eyes widened. A suicide poem made from a butterfly? It ...

MOOSE! Nah, just kidding. But I love your signature. :) So! You have some really interesting friends here! To make this even better, consider expanding on the two girl's relationships. ...

Hey Hannah! I agree with Navita... this is very hard to understand! I know you're trying to just throw us into the scene and draw us in that way, but ...

Hey Trix! Neat story... nice voice that you're using. I really like it! :D Now, this is a very captivating introduction because the story is captivating (yay!) but there's only ...

Hello again, BlackThought! I was actually kind of disappointed by the conclusion, if only because it looks like nothing was really settled, and thus, nothing was really concluded. Maybe I'm ...

Hey BlackThought! Very grabbing beginning! Sucked me right in! To edit, consider talking about how Naomi and your narrator met. Right now, we have a good feeling of Nye's past, ...

Hey Kitrosemon! Welcome to YWS! :D In this poem, you have a bunch of thoughts together that are interesting! In fact, they are so interesting that you can probably split ...

Hey Sunstar! The main thing I want to comment on is that he hears all these stories of who he was and who he is to become... from whom? It ...

Hey Poet! So, the main problem I have with this poem is that it looks like you use words that just don't fit in what you're describing! Like corrode... chemically, ...

Hey Arahnia! Actually, I like the other poem that I reviewed better. Although this has a cute story associated with it, you had to tell the story at the end ...

Hey Queenie! :D First of all, typos! You have a couple. Run it through a spell checker and it'll be a lot more awesome. :) Next of all, I agree ...

Hey jolene! :D This is a pretty interesting beginning! Lots of action, lots of intense moments... I like it! Now, the main thing that you're going to want to fix ...

Ack! Ack! Bill the Cat! Omg, your avvie is amazing, RedBird! :D Now, to the poem! It's really really random right now... which makes sense because you don't even know ...

Hey Lord Anzius! This is a very skimpy intro for such an important question! What you generally do in introductions is you introduce previous ideas of who God is by ...

JD! First of all, nice story! I kind of liked it! I want more information as to who Bryan is and how she met him, etc., but not bad! So ...