Snoink

Hey Oisin! Neat name! :D Now, on to the story! I thought it was a bit strange. You had all this pretty language describing someone puking out alcohol. And I ...

Hey Love! :D This was a rather sad story! I wasn't expecting to be this sad! I mean, mostly what people do to make things sad is to randomly kill ...

Hey Eli! This is a perfect example why adjectives and adverbs should be avoided like the devil in poetry! Adjectives serve the same purpose as salt. Put it on a ...

Hey Arahnia! What a lovely name! And what a lovely concept! Cliff diving has always terrified me, but it's fantastic... I'm pretty sure that if I were to write a ...

This. Is. The. Most. Awesome. Poem. Ever. The main comment I have is that I object to the whole ham part. Less ham, more pickle. Also, I love your rhyme ...

Venturepants! You have a fun name! :D Anyway, I think I may have ADD or something... when I was reading your poem, I kept stopping and going. The effect that ...

Hey Yuri! So, she's blind, eh? ;) This means that you've only did a fourth of the poem! She still has taste, touch, and smell! And trust me... you remember ...

Hey Thane! :D So, this looks like more of a rap then poetry, if that makes sense, just because of the constant rhyming and jaggedness of it all. So that's ...

Hey Tariq! Since you brought this up again, I'm assuming you want critiques! Anyway, I thought this was really bland. It felt like you wanted to give a message, but ...

Hey Rhiannon! :D I too thought this was a very cavalier way of dealing with this sort of thing! Maybe too cavalier. I kept on thinking, "Well, if she doesn't ...

Er... I'm not done yet! I have to go to class! But here is what I have so far. You tend to be far wordier than you need to be ...

Hey Mo! :D One thing that you might consider when you edit is to make this more concrete! Right now, the description is very thought-based... you're not actually describing real ...

Hey Mr. Spaceman! :D So, Eli was right! Your sentence structure needs to be spruced up. Try combining sentences or starting with other words besides pronouns... it might make things ...

Loved, loved the title! :D One thing that I want you to try... you have a lot of lines and some of the lines and descriptions can be a bit ...

Eek! I really, really like this little smidgen of dialogue! It's very interesting! Plus, the people sound like they genuinely know and can converse with each other which is fabulous! ...