Snoink

Those two identities are fused together, braided in my DNA. I don't like this description... until we can annotate the human genome, this cannot be scientifically proven. And it seems ...

Hey, Sureal! The characters are really... unbelievable. Now, the good things are the action... there's lots of it! However, the motives seem completely bizarre and totally forced. You say that ...

Hey, Biffle, this is pretty neat! Lots of action, in any case. :) And, ever since Animorphs, I have a soft spot for alien possessions of people. :) Now, when ...

Haha, what a quirky, lovely story! :D A couple of thoughts! I kind of wish that you didn't have the whole grade drama in the beginning. It seems a bit ...

Teehee, you're totally a thief. XD I read the first paragraph, wondered when you were going to start the story, read the next part, wondered when you were going to ...

Ahhhh, forbidden love! Hope everything works out in the end. :) As far as story goes, this seems largely unfinished! Which kind of makes sense, as it is a true ...

Here is my grumpy teacher critique, lol. It's very grumpy, but hopefully it's still helpful? :? In 'Out Walked Mel' by Paula Boock, Mel is the character I have been ...

Chatspeak is weird. You should cut it out. If you want to give it a more authentic style with misspellings... well... that's a gimmick. And gimmicks, in general, can be ...

Hey Toga! :D So! I really liked this... I mean, come on. It has a woman with a gun who stalking after a man who's killed her son? Pretty cool ...

Hey Mae! This is an example of telling and not showing! So what is telling? It's just saying, "This is so" instead of using your senses to describe it fully. ...

Hey Karsten! The rule is always focus on the character who is the most powerful. Why? Because that character has the upper hand and will manipulate people to do what ...

“Yeah she is,” Michael answered watching the girl below dance, her beauty far surpassing her grace, which was magnificent in itself. Maybe he was over-exaggerating her beauty, but it was ...

Hey Durriedog! First of all, I would cut out the smiley. Why? Because if you have to put :D in the middle of a poem, that probably means that you're ...

Haha! Oh my... I didn't even consider the possibility of this story! You are quite creative! :D A quick thing, first! "Lets take em!" I prombted. No need to prombt ...

Hey there, Boston! :D scratch down you're back