Snoink

First! He's holding a rock that transforms into a gun? What?! Doesn't make sense! Second, it seemed rather strange. You have this really intense conflict where there is creepy guy ...

So... um... I'm confused. From what I've heard in college, some people don't like cigarettes at all, but they do like weed. So... why exactly would the friend want to ...

Hey Kate! Nice to finally see your story! :D Okay! So the beginning of this story reminds me of my story. There are a couple of reasons why: 1) The ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! :D First of all, your use of "pelts" kind of threw me off a little, simply because pelts are from skinned animals. So... um... are ...

I like the idea, but the execution was rather poor, so let's talk about that. First of all, metaphors and similes. I know you love them. I love them too. ...

Hello! Okay, so this may be geeky, but I totally read it for the title. Yep. Geeky. However, when you start with electrons, and when I was reading the first ...

EEK! You've written one of those "based off a fairy tale" things. I love those sorts of stories! Just one thing I found that I didn't like: "I shook her ...

First of all! "It is therefore imperative for us g to adopt..." Random g! Now, the content... This is too vague to make any sort of valid argument. It consists ...

I think you might be better with some consolidation here! You have a lot of different images thrown in, so you either have to combine them better so that they ...

Eek! If they give you a question, you have to answer it! The easiest way to lose is to not answer the question and then simply spit it out back ...

A rather dismal thought, but whatever! It's not really a story at all, so I won't bother you about the lack of conflict or whatever. However, there are several points ...

Typos! Instead of "boarderline" it's actually "borderline." Okay! Now the story! It seemed really... flat. We really didn't know about any of the characters or what their relationship was with ...

Hello anima! Welcome to YWS. :) When I read poetry, I tend to look for something that just intoxicates me with beauty, especially with something about autumn, which is a ...

Dun dun dunnnn! Dramatic cliffhanger! I fail to see how this is a romance story, but knowing how crazy Greek mythology can be, it's bound to come up! The black ...

Hello, sspgcc1! Welcome to YWS! :D First, a typo! "The servants, brining in food"