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Now, if this did make sense, it would be soooo awesome. ;) One thing that I don't understand is the last line, "And all because green trees leap." The lines ...

Hi Elinor! First of all, you keep on changing tense. You slip in and out of past and present tense, and it makes it really strange! So fix that up! ...

Hello Vivela! :D First things first, why do you capitalize the last word of every line? It's really distracting and it seems unnecessary! Okay, now for the poem itself! I ...

Eek, no, I'm not sure if this would be better off as a poem! :) Stories (or poetry, for that matter!) should always have a purpose or sense of direction. ...

Instead of saying "Faulk," consider: "Faulking tap dancing elephants in pink tutus of the nth dimensional portal coming out to kill us why why why!" Good luck with nanowrimo! :D

Hey, cool it guys! ;) Anyway, as far as your poem... I was a bit confused by the reference of "Ithaka." To me, your epigraph seemed out of place and ...

This may sound surprising, but each of these questions can be a complete basis for a new poem. Awesome, no? ;) It's great that you are asking all these questions ...

You start off strong and with attitude (which I always like) but then you started listing weird-sounding desserts, which was very off-putting. True, you had some commentary attached to the ...

Hey Kookie! When writing poetry, you want to catch your read off guard. Make them a little off-balance, surprise them with the power of your words... make them drunk with ...

This is awful. Its entire purpose as a poem is to preach and rant. It has neither introduction or conclusion. Worst yet, it flip-flops and uses imprecise language to persuade... ...

What I don't quite understand is what is the timing of this piece? Usually, in poems about trees, the trees get older and wiser, but this tree seems to be ...

This looks to be one of those works that you tried to make it sound all artsy because you made something slightly pretty and then decided, "Hey! It's too pretty! ...

It doesn't quite sound like the dancer in the story. I mean, you have a strict format to work with, but you can tweak it so that the story is ...

OMG! OMG! You're back! :D I've missed you and your pretty poetry! Except this wasn't pretty... very gritty. I pretty much loved it and its dirtiness. Lovely stuff! A grammar ...

Hello and welcome to YWS! The other guys were right! There were a lot of grammatical errors, but they can be easily fixed. Just take the time and fix it. ...