Snoink

WHENCE! You are supposed to post all the parts TOGETHER. I mean, I like to have points and everything, but still! You post them together so that we can make ...

Hahaha, just keep it an arcrostic and, for those in the know, they can giggle, and for those who don't know French *waves hand frantically* they can flail around until ...

If you didn't want us to critique it, you should have put it somewhere else. ;):P Anyway, I think a good title for it (a better one than "Doesn't have ...

“I did not do it,” he whispered. This is the first time he doesn't say, "I didn't do it!" Make it important. Italicize "not" to have a greater effect. Anyway, ...

Ahhh! You can't leave it on this cliffhanger! I mean, it looks as if it's going to be more to the story, and then it just... stops. And that's not ...

May I press my fingers firmly on your neck? As your skin rubs off on mine? Just a quick thing... I would make the first question mark a comma. Otherwise, ...

Meh, there's something missing with this, and that means that I'll have to pummel you because it's part 3 that's missing and why, why, WHY did you post this without ...

I don't know. Tess's character doesn't make sense. If she usually is a party animal, why would she be so quiet on the sidelines? I mean, we get the feeling ...

Aha! First of all, if you want to have critiques on this, you MUST seperate this into paragraphs by making a space between each paragraph. Then it's easier to read ...

XD I love Brad. Anyway, I can see why this is supposedly great and I can appreciate the lack of words and the strange meanings they come up with, but ...

I'm just going to comment on the grammar a little bit. The first paragraph has WAY too many run on sentences. So spit up the sentence and it should be ...

Yes, it goes here. ^_^ Now... for the critique! The story was cool and the ending was pretty dramatic, so you get full points on that. I like how you ...

Ahhh... this is much better than the poem. As the others said, description is key in this story, especially in the setting. I know that, when I picture this story ...

Aww... poor Lynnie! Mind you, I think the introduction was a little bit too "woe is me!" but that could just be a preference taste, so whatever. In any case, ...

Right now, this is very very abstract. Why not write a poem that brings scenes from the real world into the abstract world? For instance, the only thing "real" in ...