Snoink

Yeah.. you have all these things happening, but no colors or feelings or anything. And then the "your face" second person bit is a little funny for me. No sé. ...

Hahahaha... didn't see that coming! It's pretty... I like how it shows that words have lives of their own, but you said it a lot more poetically than I. ;) ...

You need to show more than tell. Like, I like narrative styles and I use it frequently through my own work, but there always has to be conflict in it ...

Hahaha... I've been wanting to reread this and give a non-crappy critique. So, after I did my history test, I decided to read it and stuff! Fun stuff, no? :) ...

Nah... it's good. Because it's not just the poem you look at -- it's the title as well. And because the title was "Photograph" this clues us in to think ...

Hahaha... shouldn't the answer be 42? ;) Okay... seriously now, most of the poem is okay, but what I can't stand is the last line: Life + Meaning This is ...

Whee! Another work that I don't hate the writer for his/her lack of grammar! You don't know how nice that is. ;) But, unfortunately for you, I'm not going to ...

Oooo.... actually, I like that lack of comma because of the double meaning. I like haikus since they're so simple, but they usually aren't. The first line I love because ...

Other fiction, perhaps? ;) This had the chance to be really horribly angsty crap, but you've seem to avoid it, instead going into the mind of someone who was hurt ...

I think that it's perhaps a little too simple. That is, I think you're rhyming it too much. This might not be so bad, but the flow sounds so wrong. ...

Yeah... when you write poetry, you not only have to worry about the poem being good, but the title as well! If you are going to make a new work ...

*twitches* Okay... um... it really wasn't that bad. No seriously. If I were a writer, committed solely to the I can look at this and say, "Hey, this is fairly ...

I moved this in Original Fiction because dude! You want to get critiques on this, don't you? :D First of all, don't worry about pleasing everybody. You want to make ...

First of all, the grammar is kind of weird. If you have a cool English teacher, you might want to ask about using punctuation, where to put periods, and everything ...

Hehehe... you knew I was going to get to this eventually, right? ;) For this story, I think you're telling more than you're showing. So right now you're giving us ...