Snoink

Hi again! Okay, so! Spacing things out. You need to do it for dramatic effect. Or... you need to build tension anyway. In horror stories, things just don't happen... there ...

I actually like your writing style a lot! It is clean and has lots of tension because you don't crowd it with unnecessary description. I like it a lot! There ...

Um... how do I put this nicely? Pretend that you have to pay a dollar for every adjective and five dollars for every adverb in this piece. You would be ...

On one hand, I really want to love this! It's a beautiful poem with lots of wonderful phrases. For instance, "moon illuminates the sidewalk/and tells us where to waltz" and ...

It’s engine technology was unparalleled, and it’s five reactors were able to provide enough power for all these things and the super-fast computers that made up the bulk of the ...

Hmmm... this poem is kind of confusing. First of all, what is dimentia? At first, I though it might be a misspelling of "dementia" but if this is the case, ...

Hey Calla! When I was reading this, I was kind of thinking back to my own childhood and how I looked at the world and such. For example, when I ...

Hi PixieStix! I agree with Cspr... it does appear to be a creepy nursery rhyme! So, kudos to you for this. The main thing that made me guilty was your ...

I wasn't going to comment on this, because I loved it, but then I saw the other comments and I kind of disagreed with them, so I figured I would ...

This seems more like a poem and less like a prologue, to be honest. I mean, you might be able to format it like this: the day passes slowly, the ...

Okay! So, I grew up in the Bay Area, and because of this, a couple of things annoyed me about this piece. 1. The fog does not come from the ...

Hey Yatta! I really like the simplicity of this poem... I think that is really going for you in this case. It's simple in several ways too... in the voice ...

Okay, so this is going to be about 1 and 2! Right now, this is a good start because it has interesting characters and it kind of has that film ...

Wolves do indeed rule! I was wondering... why do the wolves have Japanese names? Wouldn't it be a name that wolves could easily pronounce? It's not a big thing, really, ...

Hi Preacher! Cole dealt with all the things I would have dealt with, so just pretend that I am repeating Cole. He's right! This is as bare bones as it ...