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Re: Picking Flowers ch.1
Hmm... I'm not sure how you plan on continuing this story, but I'm tempted to say that you should probably make this less of a summary and flesh it out ...
Aug 29, 2010 -
Re: Undertows
halves lie titled like beached boats.
Aug 29, 2010 -
Re: Cold Blooded
OMG. Yes. That piece was awesome, I remember. And I remember thinking of the same thing that you wrote a poem about. XD Anyway, your poem! There's something lacking in ...
Aug 29, 2010 -
Re: When I Was Drunk...
Don't worry, we have a bunch of non-native English speakers here. I will remind you to put "you" for "u" but generally, you were fine. :) The conclusion kind of ...
Aug 29, 2010 -
Re: Among Computers and Potted Plants
Ooh! Nice poem. :D It seems a little... misarranged though! Try this: She’s not calling for help. Her peripheral vision has worn away from ages of staring down at ivory ...
Aug 27, 2010 -
Re: Lucy The Whisperer
Hey jDawn! You did a couple of grammar mistakes, so I'm just going to point them out really quickly! :) The rabbit turned it's vibrant blue eyes on me, a ...
Aug 27, 2010 -
Re: (old.)
OM NOM NOM. More story! Hmmm... for some reason, I really don't like Mona. I mean, she just doesn't act realistic, at least to me. Maybe it's because Californians are ...
Aug 27, 2010 -
Re: The Forgottens-Episode 1-Part one
Hey Isha! We don't understand what a Forgotten is until too long. I think you should introduce Bailey bumping into her author or something of the sort. That might be ...
Aug 26, 2010 -
Re: The Mountain
Haha, I kind of adore the description of the character with the scar crinkling when he smiles. That's awesome. It's not so much as the description that I adore, it's ...
Aug 26, 2010 -
Re: Removed
I love this story so much. XD Also! It looked really fun to edit. Really fun. So I edited, using Track Changes, of course. What I did, mainly was reformat ...
Aug 26, 2010 -
Re: That Can't Be Jesus, Where's the Crown?
Dude, your title rocks so hard that it's amazing. Anyway, for the first five stanzas, I thought it sounded too much like a cheerleader. Not that sounding like a cheerleader ...
Aug 26, 2010 -
Re: #005 (The List) *edited*
I know what I've been missing all my life! More of Sachi's writing! This was loverly! Very touching and wonderful. My main point against this piece is there isn't enough ...
Aug 26, 2010 -
Re: The Perception Of Love
Hey Aiden! This seems more like a monologue than a story. Or maybe a love letter of sorts by a spurned lover who has nothing to lose, but again not ...
Aug 25, 2010 -
Re: Woe the Dream
OMG, a new poem by wisemann210?! :o So, I liked this for the most part! The first three lines are full of awesome. It's the last two lines that looked ...
Aug 25, 2010 -
Re: If I
Hey, smashles! :D A very catchy tune! I imagine it as a kind of poppy song. The repetition totally works for it too, which is completely awesome. One thing that ...
Aug 25, 2010
