Snoink

Uh... no. What is it about?

Contact a mod instead of posting this. *Locked*

Major edits done! Anybody want to read and review? I give [s]cookies[/s] points. :)

*sighs* This is locked, for good this time. Next time you want to post a piece, please don't insult your critiquers.

*Moved to Fantasy Fiction*

Don't argue over critiques. Go back to topic, please.

I'm locking this. Xena, PM me if you want it unlocked. We need to talk.

Back on topic, guys.

I have read it, several times. Not once do you explain what a puppy mill is. So you're going to want to include this in your work. ;)

This thread is about critiquing the speech and is not for debating. Please stick to the topic.

...er, why is somebody reviving this obviously great piece of literature? *Locked*

***Locked by request of author***

*Locked*

Much closer! :D This critique will probably be shorter, since you are definitely improving, and probably with less helpful advice, because as you get closer to writing a solid poem, ...

Aha! It's been edited! :D You're closer to achieving the effect you want, actually. Let's look at the poem, shall we? ;) I am afraid for my life. My father ...