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SpencerNolanRivers

  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Tongue tied and Silly. (Andre & Starling)

    I could not carry on with reading your work for the many puntual errors, silly wordings, ect. Here are some problems I had early on on the story, though it ...

    Oct 23, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Hillsong - 1

    I haven't done a review in forever, so it's refreshing to revise and critique this for you. If it's any consolation, I'm hardly 14? No. I have read works by ...

    Oct 23, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Sunday

    There aren't too many mistakes I could pick out. Good job. It started normal enough and therefore he was magic al . “Fuck this,” said I . I dunno wether ...

    Jul 27, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » General, General Re: Lake Girls Chapter one: Hotdogs and wine

    I didn't find too many mistakes or phasing of things I didn't like in this, that's good. April, May (April"s younger sister) and June (April's mother ) had no clue ...

    Jul 27, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: You're Not Perfect

    I hadn't read the entire thing, had too many errors and mistakes and it discouraged me to continue. Also, I didn't want to overwhelm myself with too many corrections to ...

    Jul 26, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Impossible to Forget

    "Sis, you okay?" my 20 year old brother , Jonathan asked. This is way too straight-forward. People would have looked at us as twins if it weren't for my green ...

    Jul 24, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Social Life

    Alrighty, Ms.TheRealGossipGirl, I will be critiquing this piece here. There are a lot of errors, mistakes, and grammaritical wrongs within this story that really needs fixing. First off; format the ...

    Jul 24, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Hook, Line & Sinker

    bolts of lightening lights the sky like a giant torch was being flashed on and off. I think that clears up the sentence a whole lot better. which Mr Rodaway ...

    Jul 23, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Dreaming.

    I just ran and ran, until I realized there was nothing to run to , There is the correct form of "To." “Yeah . Go Tigers.” There should be a ...

    Jul 23, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Untitled

    I didn't find many errors that were too bad, so well done. I love this story so far, and how everything isn't boldly stated in the beginning; I like finding ...

    Jul 22, 2009
  • Short Story » General, General Re: Death Day

    I hadn't finished the entire thing, but here are a lot of errors that I had caught. Before five years ago , I had a nice, average, happy family. There ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Break my Heart and Hope to Die

    Had it really been a month? Or more? It would be better if it were stated "Had it really been a month, or more?" There was a pregnant pause, This ...

    Jul 21, 2009
  • Short Story » Romantic, General Re: Love Isn't Magic

    I did not find a whole lot of grammar errors or anything. That is good. Here are some things that should be fixed though: “We can make it work. Don’t ...

    Jul 20, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: She Threatened Me With A Shotgun (Prologue)

    I love UnderOath. Just thought that needed to be said. Now to the critiquing: her lips a vibrant pink from the little light given from my lighter as she sat ...

    Jul 20, 2009
  • Novel / Chapter » Romantic, General Re: Time Dissolves Itself - Preface

    I didn't find a lot of things that needed much editing. “And what will you do for me in return?” Zeke asked softly , coyly. I think it would sound ...

    Jul 20, 2009


Real men wear floral while trespassing.
— Junebug