SpencerNolanRivers

The story was rather short, maybe it's 1/4 of a chapter, perhaps. Now for corrections; I don't feel like quoting them or copy and pasting, so a couple were when ...

There were a few minor grammar errors, but not enough for me to consider picking them all out. Overall, I really liked this. It's written very well, but I can ...

There's a lot of simple grammar mistakes in the passage, but besides those here is what I think: The story should be much longer. I like it so far, and ...

"Dammit, Amber!" He walked to the other side of the boat, rubbing his eyes in frustration , his nostrils flared and I started to bite my nails. As I sat ...

"Stop the car!," I screamed. My body jerked forward as my soon to be ex-boyfriend stopped the car. I my chest burned as the seat belt stopped my body from ...

I would give some grammar critiques, but most of the ones you had were minor, so I'll put it aside. I find your writing style very admirable. I love it. ...

I guess everyone has their own “ o ne that got away.” Capitalize the O in One , since it's the beginning of a quote. He was mine and he ...

The glass was getting wetter in the inside [comma] but icy cold to the touch on the outside. Adding a comma between inside and but helps the structure of the ...

“Hey, Kass, what’s up?” I asked as we crossed to the towering red door of the high school, pushing it with all my might and heading down long hall. “I ...

The reason I pull away is simple. Or is it? Sentence fragement. But what he hasn’t taken into account is the fact that I might not quite have reached the ...

It's hard to follow along to this story when the narrator constantly over-evaluates everything, reminds me of Bella in Twilight. Though, the concept of the short story is all right, ...