Starhunter

Hey! Wow, I really liked the imagery in this poem. The stings of night... very nice. :) My suggestions would be: Watch your meter. Some of the lines have different ...

Hey! I see this is one of your first posts, and I'd like to say firstly welcome to YWS! Good to have you. :) I liked the way you wrote ...

Hey! I really liked this piece- you have very good imagery. I like how you don't just leave it at images, though- you describe the lighting, the smells, the sensations, ...

Hey! Very interesting, and haunting. It sounds almost like a prophecy, or something. I also really liked your rhyming pattern; it was simple, but it propelled the piece along very ...

Hey! Wow this is really nice.. I really like the imagery. Your descriptions are awesome. One of the only things that bugged me was that almost every sentence is broken ...

Hey! Wow, very dramatic short story there! Very emotional... So, here's my thoughts: One thing you might want to work on is clarity. I understood your story, mostly, but several ...

Hey! I really liked this selection. I haven't read the rest of the story, but now I really want to. I was pulled into the story instantly, and I found ...

Hey! Okay, so here are my thoughts.. I really like the voice you're using. It's very personal, and it's easy to connect with. I feel like I just met Avelyn ...

Hi! Well, reading it through the first time, I was totally in it. I really liked the flow of it, and even though it was really short, I was so ...

Wow. What a jerk! Oh my gosh- that was really, really good. I didn't notice any grammar/spelling things, and your entire flow was good as well. Very, very clever too. ...

Hey! Just so you know, I haven't read the other parts of this, so I'm reviewing it on its own. So, this was a little long, so I won't be ...

Hi! Very interesting story, very poetic. Your phrasing floats like the clouds and airships you write about. However, there are a few things: A lot of your phrasing is confusing. ...

Hey! This sounds good to me- I haven't read chapter one or anything, but now I'm really interested. I think your conversations are very natural and flow well, and could ...

Hi! In my opinion this isn't cliche at all, and I think you are taking an original spin on the vampire thing. It's very original, I think, to see the ...

Hey! I really liked this- I haven't read any other parts of this story, so I wasn't quite sure what was going on, but I still was able to connect ...