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TPak

  • Romantic Novels Re: The gray line (Chapter 1)

    There is only one type of person I watch out for. It is not the jocks, Goths, populars, or the mysterious kids, it’s the dorks, the kids who always get ...

    Aug 21, 2010
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Diary

    Thank you all for your constructive critism! I usually don't get a lot if you couldn't tell, because people are scared to tell me. They think I'll go over the ...

    Aug 21, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: Feelings for a Friend

    I had this happen many times. I love your work how it has your own personal twist in it. But as you asked, I tell you how I think you ...

    Aug 20, 2010
  • Narrative Poetry Re: Diary

    The first copy of this poem was written on my bedroom window with dry erase marker. Surprisingly I was happy while writing it. I know, I'm weird. :D Here you ...

    Aug 20, 2010
  • Other Poetry Re: Dop.

    I like the rhyming scheme and the metophors. Great work and keep writing! :D

    Aug 19, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Dusting off the past

    For this poem you need to capitalize the first letter in every line. So instead of because I know that you will always be apart of what you should do: ...

    Aug 17, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: The Pain Inside </3

    I like this poem. It really shows you know what it's like to have pain inside. Again, good poem and you have a gift to take what's inside and write ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Lyrics Re: Alone Today

    I liked it. I've also felt like this before where everyone is pretty much surrounding you and you feel like you might suffocate. Just some suggestions I have for you. ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Ticking Heart, Beating Clock

    This was a powerful poem. I like how you used different ways to describe how sad the character is. How the their heart is broken. I have to say my ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Lyrics Re: Stop Falling For My Best Friend

    This is pretty good. I'm sure it would be twice as good if you put it to music. It reminds me a bit like cheatercheaterbestfriendeater by nevershoutnever. And that's a ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Lyrics Re: "Our Goodbye" by Brian

    Hey, a little easy on the langue! Just kidding with you. This is pretty good. Just here is some corrections: not a single word, for my yeears of pain I'm ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: My 'friends'

    I wrote this while mad at some of my friends. I don't exactly remember why but I do remember typing fiercely on the keyboard and saving the document. And if ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • General Fiction Short Stories Re: Daddy

    I love how you write this in second person. I don't usually come across work like this that I like. I like how you use memories to explain the circumstances ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Lyric Poetry Re: Sorry

    I liked this poem. I just wished you capitalized it's one of my pet peeves. That actually goes along with my poem FS. That sounds like my backstabber's reaction. I ...

    Aug 16, 2010
  • Romantic Short Stories Re: Your Smoke

    I love this story! I have choked on cigarette smoke before because I used to have family that smoked wildly, but this did describe what it's like being choked by ...

    Aug 16, 2010


I don't care what the miserable excuse is for showing the death of books, live, on screen. Men, I could understand; but books! -
— Edwin Morgan, From the Video Box 2