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Hey there I love this poem, it's different from a lot of others. I agree that you've done a lot of telling and not showing, but you've pulled it off ...

Hey there Welcome to yws! Nice work, I like it. You've brought the characters to life really well for such a short piece, and their relationship is well defined. You've ...

Hey dude You owe YWS four critiques for the two poems you've posted. Also, this made me laugh. I'm not entirely sure if it was meant to be humerous or ...

Oh my gosh that's awesome! I haven't been that engrossed in a story in soo long. 'but once a while' (7.2) - Should this be 'once in a while' or ...

Hey there I'm not much of a fan of reading lyrics, but this is really good. I love the imagery you've used, the contrast of a river of lava and ...

Hey there 'I had been staring at my refridgerator, deep in thought' - This line is brilliant, I don't know if it was supposed to be comical, but it made ...

Hey there What's the secret, what's the secret? Welcome to YWS! Okay, onto the poem. I really like the way it's laid out, and the repitition of 'Not just a ...

Hey there This is meant to be poetry? I agree that it's not very poetic. I didn't realise and read this as a story. Admittedly it has some flaws, but ...

Hey there Nice work! I loved your opening line, and the description following had me hooked. I was quite confused at first when you referred to the other person as ...

Hey there I shall apologise in advance. 'I already know you will love this poem,' - readers (especially on yws) in a way, challenge a writer. They pick apart the ...

Hey there, welcome to yws! I agree with firestarter in that your lines seem a bit too cluttered. I think line two doesn't make much sence because you've twisted and ...

Heyhey I loved it! The whole meaning is very deep, but your use of imigary is beautifully simple. Nice work. The only thing I can point out is that I ...

Heyhey I really like this. I agree with some of the others, it would be better if it was a bit longer. I especially like the way you've used powerful ...

This is adorable! And quite hilarious. The title is quite catchy too, and works really great with the poem. 'It's a freaking senryū she thought, you uneducated little.. "witches" ' ...

Hahaha! Somebody must have reeaally ticked you off XD Oh my gosh that's awesome. At first the structure was slightly off-putting, but you definately made up for it. I read ...