TakeThatYouFiend

Hello! And might I say what a nice poem! This is an untapped subject methinks and I like the title because it implys the entire Peter Pan story in four ...

O.k. this is great, yet I would correct two things that jarred with me as I read through it. Firstly in the second verse you repeat the word "inside". Normally ...

Hello! The fiend to review your first poem on this site. First up, can I say it is an intelligent style of poetry for this subject matter. I have been ...

Hello Dice of Quantosity! First of may I like the rhyming, it reminded me of Zagraus, and suited the subject matter of time accordingly. It was slightly less uniform than ...

Hello Timmyjake! First of this reminds me alot of the poem you wrote about the stick and the stone, the way you show different stages of time with different stanzas. ...

Huzzah! Random! This reminds me an awful lot of Spike Milligan, which definitely is a compliment by the way. Anyway, I like the fact you could be bothered to make ...

Hello! The fiend to review this fine piece, and to share my orange juice love. Why not link this in the food club? Anyway, punctuation. You did a fine job ...

This is so true! I have had similar problems once, where half the people loved my poem, the other half hated it. Like marmite. Now for a little constructive criticism. ...

Hello! Plus point. -I like the fact you have used a steady rhyme and rhythm pattern, as it allows greatly for emphasizing changes by repetition, a device used by all ...

Hello there, the fiend to review this fine work! The last line is probably my favorite, although it is in close competition with "just pretend, that the world isn't turning". ...

Hello weather! This is a work in progress, so I will try to restrain my natural evil. Firstly, allow me to congratulate me on the first verse, which was truly ...

First I have to thank you for the sneak peak, or I may have had to spam your wall repeatedly. :-) The character building was totally perfect; Rufus was totally ...

Greetings! Here for a quick review! I apologise in advance for sounding too critical; I am unused to reviewing chapters. Lets start on a positive. The cliffhanger worked really well, ...

WHOO! Comparison! This is a very good sentence, double thumbs up for using a semicolon; Particularly to show a relationship between the two statements. :-) A suggestion now methinks; I ...

This is great, but less lyrical methinks than the last. (The last being make me like a star.) A slight criticism; I see no reason for the total lack of ...