TheEnigma

This is great! That was a total twist at the end. I wasn't expecting it at all. I was sure this was going to be a tragic story of hopelessness ...

I was thinking about entering this in a contest, so reviews are very welcome. And very needed. :D Thanks. ______________________________________________________________________________________________

This was so intense, I couldn't stop reading it. Your first sentence was great; it hooked me right away. And I also liked your implied what was going to happen ...

Just write the more exciting scenes in your plot out--you know, the ones that stand out clearly in your head and you know exactly what's going to happen-- and put ...

Wow, I really liked this. It was one of those pieces that you just can't stop reading. Just a couple things I noticed: It slammed shut behind her, but she ...

Haha, I like your characters. They are just great, especially Markus. And (it looks to me) you've set up your plot really well. I've just got a couple of recommendations ...

Are you going to continue this? It seems like you've got a whole other story to reveal, like this paragraph is just leading up into something else that happens--a negative ...

I was kind of confused on this one. I didn't get a lot of what they were talking about. What was the daydream about at the beginning? It was a ...

I recently read an article on how to keep your plot moving. What often happens to me is that I think up a bunch of interesting scenes, but then I ...

I'm curious to know what the original ending to this was. I like this. I feel you could expand it more, of course--maybe add on to the action, make it ...

Very sweet marriage scene. I think you could make the accident scene a little more dramatic, though. Also, in expressing Ashley's death: maybe find a different way to tell than ...

Ah, I liked this novel. I think it's a really good idea and you should definitely continue it. First off, I noticed some run-ons and a few things that need ...

Wow, this was awesome. One of the things sought for in poetry is imagery, and you had a lot of great imagery. You did a great job using it to ...

I don't know much about scripts, but I can say, I liked this quite a bit. I could see the characters in my head like it was actually a movie. ...

Ha, I liked your beginning and end a lot! You had me hooked from the start and kept the action moving really well. It's like this piece is pretty much ...